Love is perhaps the most beautiful, yet painful thing in the entire world. No emotion is more universal. People often equate success to love. It is often said that someone could have all the money in the world, but without love, he can never be truly happy. Love is one of the most natural human emotions to feel, because it is accessible from a young age. Everyone loves something. Love is used by every form of media. It is one of the most prominent themes used in poetry, films, books, music, pictures, and all other forms of art. Falling in love (and having the feelings be reciprocated) is possibly the most important thing one can do in his life. However, there are many types of love, some of which, aren't mutual.
One type of love is called "unrequited love." Unrequited love is a profound love that one feels for another but is not reciprocated. The person being loved can either be aware, or not be aware of the other person's feelings. Unrequited love is a very popular subject because it is so common. There are hundreds of examples of unrequited love in popular culture. For example, on The Simpsons, Milhouse has an unrequited love for Lisa. Though she is aware of it, she does not feel the same way. Unrequited love is thought to affect almost 100% of people at least once in their life. It can be felt towards anyone, which is why it is so common. Unlike other types of love which will be discussed, unrequited love tends to have positive and dignified qualities because of the sense of selflessness involved. People are most likely willing to do anything to win the affection of the person they love, and therefore would cause themselves harm.
The next type of love is a very rare disorder called Erotomania. Erotomoniacs believe that a person is in love with him or her. However, erotomania is a delusional disease, and the people who have it normally have another type of mental illness as well, most commonly schizophrenia. One of the biggest parts of erotomania is that the person who is being loved does not have to even know the person who loves him, or even have met him. Most often times, the person who is being loved does not even know the person. Erotomaniacs tend to see signs where there are none. For example, they think that the way a reporter positions his hands when he talks, or the way a doctor arranges the notes on his desk, are secret signs of his or her affection. People who have erotomania honestly believe that the person they are in love with is secretly in love with them, and often create fantasies in their heads that they tend to believe are real. Oftentimes, celebrities are the object of desire for erotomaniacs. Most notably, David Letterman.
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A passion paradox is when one partner in a relationship is more in love with the other. This often leads to the more affectionate person being even more less loved by the other. The reason it is a paradox, is for example, let's say a couple gets into an argument. The one who loses will want to try and act more alluring to the other, therefore causing the relationship to fall out of balance even more. He or she can't win. The passion paradox has to do mostly with control.
Although stalking isn't really a type of love, it is a very important aspect of it. Stalking is the act of obsessively following and spying on another. Most often, stalking has to do with unrequited love and obsessive love. Stalking is a form of harassment, which is illegal. Stalkers have a lot of different intentions. Some stalkers have violent intentions in mind. Others honestly believe that the person they are stalking loves them, and this is just a way for them to be closer. Victims do not always know they are being followed. Stalking often times corresponds with many different types of personality disorders, such as schizophrenia and paranoia. Sometimes the stalkers are harmless, but often times stalkers harass and threaten their victims. Stalking can often lead to long lasting effects on victims.
A different type of love that I haven't touched on is called love shyness. Unlike normal shyness, love shyness is unique because people who are not shy in normal situations, will become extremely shy if they sense a potential for a romantic relationship. Approximately 1.5% of men are affected by this disorder. High levels of anxiety and stress are involved. Most of the research done on this disorder has only been done on heterosexual men. A lot of the reason for men becoming love shy is because of their upbringing. Usually, men tended to become love shy if they were bullied or had bad parents.
Because love is such an appealing feeling, people feel very good when they are in love. However, some people take it to far, and have a behavioral disorder called love addiction. Love addicts adore the feelings love gives them, and how love makes them feel. The reason this is bad is because if the relationship were to end, it is very hard for them to let go. This often gives them depression. Because love addicts can feel insecure, they connect themselves to another and don't let go of that connection. Because they are so used to love, when it ends abruptly, it is hard for them to handle themselves socially, and they are often very unstable, leading to emotional breakdowns. This also has to do with co-dependency. Oftentimes, love addicts grow so accustomed to the daily routine of having a significant other, they become dependent on that person. And if that person leaves, they cannot handle themselves.
Along the same lines, obsessive love is when one partner is obsessed with the other emotionally. Whereas love addicts tend to love the idea of a relationship and the safety it brings, obsessive love is more towards the actual person. One common sign is that one partner becomes so obsessed with the other, that he or she is the ONLY person who can make them feel happy. Again, obsessive love is a delusional behavior, which can always lead to the worst case scenarios, including stalking, rape, murder, and suicide. A famous example is a man named John Hinckley was so obsessed with Jodie Foster, he tried to assassinate President Ronal Reagan because he honestly thought that she would notice him, and share similar feelings.
Cyberstalking is a new method of stalking. It involves using computers and the internet to stalk victims. Just like real stalking, it is illegal. Cyberstalking is still a form of harassment. Cyberstalkers use every aspect of computers to harass and gain information on their victims. Facebook, Myspace, AIM, Yahoo, Google, and many more are some of the most common methods of cyberstalking. Cyberstalking is such a big deal because people tend to think they are safe on their computers, and stalkers take advantage of this. They often get others to help them harass their victims. Because computers are 'anonymous', people think they are safe, when they most certainly aren't.
Although there are many types of love, it is best when the two people involved feel the same about one another. Love is beautiful, although there is an ugly side to everything. Love can't always feel good. But if we never felt the downsides of love, we would never really know how good it can actually feel. There is no point in living this life if you don't feel love at least once. Remember this:
I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
- Alfred Tennyson
